Calvin's Weblog

Ever wonder what birds are thinking?

I just went for a quick walk, and as I aproached a particular corner the incessant 'caw' of a single crow grew louder, and louder, and more and more anoyying. When the crow came into sight, I could see that there was something in the grass directly in front of it, that it was directing the full force of it's caw-itude toward.

"Must be some food that he's protecting from us afternoon walkers" was my initial reaction, but as I neared, I could plainly see that the object in the grass was a fully severed crow wing. I'm not talking about a few feathers, I'm talkin' 'bout a "chopped-off-at-the-shoulder, perfectly severed adult crow wing".

"Well, you don't see that everyday.", I thought again as I continued walking, but I couldn't keep my eyes off that crazy crow, caw, caw, cawing at the "arm in the grass", or "bras dans la pelouse" as I decided to affectionately call it. I figured it was much more romantic sounding in French, but that's neither here nore there. I was affixed on the little noise making devil right next to the BDLP, and I couldn't help wondering "What is that little bugger thinking???"

I mean, by definition, Mr. Crow has a bird brain. They're not too big. There couldn't be much going on up there, so this was a surreal enough situation to warrant a little quandry myself. I spent the rest of my walk pensively speculating what on earth must be going through the crow's mind.

Was the wing from his lady friend? One of his kids? Were these heartfelt caws of sorrow and dispair? A crow funeral dirge, if you will?

Or was it some innate defense mechanism - a veritable "Hey fellow crows, I just found some crow parts over here, you'd better stay clear - I'm willing to bet predators abound!"

Possibly, but dang, he was sure sticking around long enough himself... you'd think if that were the case, he'd yell 'fire' then get the F outta Dodge...

Maybe he was thinking "Hey, my arm! My arm fell off! Ahhh! How did that happen! Whoah... my arm! my arm!!! It was here a second ago, now it's over there! Holy crap! my arm!"

By the way, I checked. He had both his wings. This BDLP wasn't his. But hey, he DOES have a bird brain, so who knows, maybe that was what he was thinking.

Maybe he was thinking "Okay dude, I see your arm - you can come out now - great dissapearing trick, that's really cool, but you can come out now... I know you're there! show yourself, er, I mean, show the rest of yourself... this is getting tiring... come out, come out where ever you are!"

Maybe he was thinking "dammit John, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times... you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached. Didn't I tell ya that? So here ya are, ya lost a wing, you happy now?"

Heck, for all I know he was yelling crow-ish for "Hey, anybody lose a wing? It's over here, I found it? Wing anyone? Everyone check your shoulders, it looks like a left one... anyone missing their left wing? It's over here! Seriously, if nobody claims it soon, I'm gonna keep it!"

Well, I was almost back at work and I still hadn't come up with a viable answer. Honestly, I'm sure I just spent the last 10 minutes over analyzing the whole BDLP situation, AND the mental capacity of it's caw-tacular guardian...

Most likely, he was just staring at the thing screaming "WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF!"

(If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go here

Posted by Calvin at May 3, 2005 03:02 PM